When I was a kid (around 12 or 13) I came across this one blogspot site that was called Indie Horror RPG, it was a blog that uploaded rpg maker games mostly based on horror or psychologic topics, even tho sometimes they also provided comedy ones. I remember spending entire days downloading and devoring all the titles I came across. Some of the most memorable ones were OFF, my all time favorite, Yume Nikki, Dreaming Mary, Ib, A Bird Story, and one of the ones I remember more vividly: When it Rains I Want To Dissapear Off Somewhere. This last one was a game that stuck with me for more than ten years, mostly because of the context I was living at the moment and how it made me feel.
I remember it was also winter, and in my city its always messy on that season. So we had rainy and cold days, that were sometimes accompanied by strong winds and a gray sky that seemed to reflect my own life. I grown up as a lonely child, and family wise we werent doing all great. All I had on that old laptop were a bunch of pirated rpg games and a few animes on dvd because we didn't had cable at home. The feeling of loneliness is something I can say still carry with me as a really deep memory. At least that specific year, so I think it's because of that that these games marked me to the core. Even if I haven't played some of these titles in years, I still remember the feelings and how they went. I also remember being on the living room under a dim yellow light wondering how to beat some levels without any help or guide (I had my pride to defend, you see).
Speaking of OFF, and because it came to steam remastered last week, man how I love that game. Like, a lot. Truly a lot. It was the beggining for me and my first time making friends online was because somebody had a Zacharie roleplay account and we became friends because of that. I was out there downloading all the wallpapers and messing with the game files to rip off the music and use it as my pc background music. Someday I think I'll make my own Zacharie mask.
Another notable title from that era is Suzy and Freedom. Now this is a little bit more different because it is inspired by a real story and crime commited in 2002 in Brazil. It was confused at best but I did all I could to understand and play it. It was a game that made me think a lot about the world and how people can be so cruel sometimes. I'm actually planning about replaying it now and give it another go. Not so long ago I did the same with OFF.
In the modern era there are a fewer titles that have stuck with me to a personal level. I do believe everything that I consumed when I was a unsupervised child on the net had an effect on me, sometyhing now is way more difficult to achieve. If I had to say a more recent title that made me feel something similar to what I felt back then, I would say Mouthwashing. Mostly because of the narrative. I remember not being able to sit and play a game in one go for a while, but that gam surprised me greatly. It's my most recent favorite title. I stay away from fandom spaces the most I can, only interacting in search of fanart and in rare occassions now, fanfiction, so it was really weird to see from afar all the controversy surronding the characters.
I assume is a gnerational breach. People can also be really crazy these days.
These past few days without much activity on my end here are due to me being overly sick. I haven't been able to wake up since friday without a nosebleed and bloody boggers EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. My nose hurts, it burns and I feel like I'm going crazy because nothing I do actually helps the pain.
I had to go to uni today and during my day I actually didn't do much. I took the trash out and deep cleaned the kitchen. I was planning on going to the library and borrow another book but I ended up taking the taxi with the most complicated route ever so I ended up just ten minutes before the class started. -_-
On a silly and cute note, today a lady complimented my bag when I was crossing the street and I managed to smile instead of looking scared due to the sudden inteaction lmao so points to me for that ! XD Here's a picture of my bag:
The only thing we had to do today in class was submitting our first thesis essay, we actually had it done since saturday but we needed the teacher to proofread it before turning it in. It ended up needing some corrections so I had to stay to help fix it. After that it was free time and my partner was already waiting for me outside. He had brought me some snacks and this amazing gif:
Wich is a 1996 cd, I am into retro stuff and things like this really make me happy. One day when I finish coding this page I'll show my full vintage collection. (˶' ꒳ '˶)
So this was today, it was a relaxed but bloody, I'm feeling really happy to be honest because even with its adversities life could not be better for me now. Tomorrow I'll update more pages on here such as my manga and art sections, I have a lot of stuff to share !!
currently listening: Swim with the dolphins current mood: thirstyAhhh, today I really wanted to do a lot more of things that I actually did. I woke up very sick, I've been suffering from this weird cold for the past few days and today it got worse. I had a fever and a sore throat, so I just stayed in bed most of the day reading a book due for tomorrow at the library. I really wish I could have been able to move way more but I was straight up looking like an alien with how red and swollen my eyes were. LOL. It's been somehow of a rutine for me to get sick every time the seasons change, I guess my immune system is just not that great. I hope I can recover soon, I have a lot of plans for this month, most of them regarding my neocities: I really wanna finish every section of it and make it look more complete. I also wanna start posting more art, I have a lot of sketches that I wanna color and share and also finish my commissions. But for them I also need to wait for my tablet pencil nibs replacements to arrive, I ordered them a few days weeks ago and they still haven't arrived. ¬¬'
The most epic that happened today tho was that after slept all day, I woke up to my partner that had arrived home from work bringing me my favorite snacks and drink. It was really really sweet! He always makes my heart melt even when I feel like a dry fruit on the sidewalk (˶' ꒳ '˶) Then we watched "worst movies ever" review on youtube meanwhile eating chicken soup for my cold and then took another nap. I guess he deserved it more than me to be fair. Bad thing is that we overslept and now while I write this is currently 3:18AM. He's now playing Forgive me Father 2 and the thing just finished installing blasting the menu music directly to my already sensitive ears. Thing gave me a good scare.
Yuumi also spent the majority of the day sleeping with me, lucky for us thats her favourite activity anyways so keeping her company is also great.
Hi hi! (˶' ꒳ '˶) I am really excited about finally posting my first entry on this blog, I've been planning all this for some days now and and I decided to take a leap of faith after not having a reply from Tumblr's support team regarding Javascript restrictions on custom themes. So! this is literally gonna work as a thoughts dumpster for me to say and show stuff from my everyday life, along with my opinions on certain topics and whatnot. See it as some sort of diary that I plan to run in long term.
currently listening: Hyper-ballad - Björk current mood: very ill